Jon Gosselin's Not Looking for a New York Mansion

Last night we heard that Jon Gosselin, the maritally-troubled* costar of Jon & Kate Plus 8, might be looking for a Trump Towers Place sex pad. Now a resident of said building has provided us with more details:

just an fyi — it is not Trump Towers, but actually Trump Place. supposedly the apartment is a river-facing 1 bedroom that has been for rent, and rents at about $3200 a month. its likely under 700 square feet...

Aha! So, while expensive, it's not exactly the lavish bachelor's crib we'd envisioned—with jacuzzi tubs and sex swings and faucets that pour pure Andre champagne. Our big question is: How you gonna sleep eight kids in 700 square feet? Cancel the enormous water bed, Jon, and buy yourself some damn bunk beds.

*Yes, we realize a day ago we said we'd prefer to "avoid this story as much as possible". But now it's in our own backyard, dammit, and we've got somethin' to say. Plus, it's Friday!

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