How has celebrity gossip changed in over the years? Don't we hear a lot more about sad reality blobs these days than we do about say, one Britannica H. Spears? We employed our loyal assistant Julia Schweizer to find out.

And we were right, mostly! Julia found, by handily charting the mammoth volume of Us Weekly covers for the past three years, that indeed our interest in bigtop celebs seems to have waned, while we've all become mordantly fascinated with regular people who went fucknuts out of their minds and decided, against all reason, to sign reality show contracts.

Well, OK, actually the news is even more heartening than that! We're paying more attention to classic movie stars again, and, sadly, more attention to Jons & Kates. But! The brief reign of the Paris Hiltons and Kim Kardashians of the world—those who were famous for vague, unknowable reasons—looks to be coming to an end.

Good for us! Also, shame on us.

Thanks to Julia for the painstaking work.