• By T.A.N.
    Jun 20, 2009 3:00 PM 1,799
    read more: #wtan, #tanremakesthehits, #21questions, #blackweirdalyankovic, #bloggingsthenewrapping, #getassimilatedordietryin, #etc, #50cent

    A 50 Cent Father's Day Remix: 21 More Questions

    On this rainy (still???) Father's Day weekend I wanted to debut yet another new feature for the toolchest: TAN Remakes the Hits! Herewith: a remix to "21 Questions" by nutrient-enhanced rapper 50 Cent.

    This was one of my father's favorite songs when it came out a few years ago. He loved it like a carnivore loves steak! He also very much raised me on the whole "you know my style/I'll do anything to make you smile" sensibility.

    So in the spirit of smiling, and Father's Day, I want to send this next song out to my daddy who hooked me up with a sense of humor, a deep voice, and, I suspect, the buttery two-button suit I'm rockin' above. Word.

    Now, ladies, I have some questions:


    MP3 File

    Lyrics:

    New York City …
    you are now rallying …
    with The Assimilated
    gotta love it

    when I blog sometimes I twist the la
    write posts on my iBook g5 (ed: just go with it, people)
    it's all white, like these girls that's on my jock
    I don't know son, it makes no sense to me
    hope you got everything you need cause I
    am so broke it might even make you cry
    I got some questions that I gotta ask and I
    don't give a fcuk what you give as an answer baby

    Giiirrrrlll
    It's easy to love TAN
    But what if I'm not a brand?
    Just a man
    Would you still have love for me?
    Giiirrrrlll
    Can you get me a Ketel-cran?
    The official drink of TAN
    So scram
    And show your love for me

    Verse:

    if I got AIDS tomorrow
    would you still touch me?
    if I lost both my arms
    would you still hug me?
    if I got knocked into a coma for half a century
    could I count on you to still have respect for me mentally?
    if I killed the prez
    i'm on the run from the feds
    would you mind wearing a beard
    and growing some dreds?
    if I give you a black eye
    you wearing glasses to hide?
    if you caught me cheating
    would you let it slide?
    if I got you a fake bag for $5.99
    are you giving me head
    or starting to whine?
    what if you work a tough job
    straight walking with blisters
    while I'm home, unemployed
    banging your sister?
    if I bite off your tongue
    would you bite back???
    if I nut in your eye
    would you wipe that???
    I could piss in your mouth
    you know a nightcap???
    might pass a little gas
    I know you like that ...

    CHORUS

    These are questions that need answers, people.


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