Things to Do in Buenos Aires Without Your Wife

South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford took a little secret solo jaunt down to Buenos Aires, just because. What could he do down there, hypothetically? We've put together a guide of popular activities for the single traveler!

Swingers clubs—Try Anchorena, Buenos Aires' premier boliche swinger. Enjoy the kitschy "four life-sized wooden totems of nude men and women, their genitals poised above the center of the dance floor" to get you in the mood. "Forget the tango - these days, Argentina swings," Mark Sanford.

Things to Do in Buenos Aires Without Your Wife

Gay saunas—Unikus Spa is one of the city's most popular gay meeting points, where you can go to descontracturantes y relax, if you know what we mean, Mark Sanford.

Sex spas—A Full Spa offers "Hydrotherapy Pool, Labyrinth /Individual Boxes, XXX Videos, etc." Etc. means whatever you want it to mean, Mark Sanford!

Glory Holes—At Tom's at Viamonte 638, you can go from the Leather Basement to the DVD Booths to the Glory Holes, and back—if you dare, Mark Sanford!

"Publishing"—Leonos is a "publishing" agency that "doesn't do anything" except link its hot male "models" with interested "clients" like you. What you choose to "do" with the "model" is "up to two consenting adults," Mark Sanford.

Around your hotel—"Cutty Sark is a well known bar...guys will have no problems arranging erotic services with the girls here, especially if they're staying at El Conquistador." Club Black is nice, too. Ring the front desk, Mark Sanford!

Things to Do in Buenos Aires Without Your Wife

Drugs—Cocaine here is the same price as Miller Lite is back in South Carolina, Mark Sanford!