Last year women spent almost $50 million on worthless products that failed to get rid of cellulite. Stop the madness! Must the New York Times plaster an entire Styles page with a naked bottom to get you to listen? Yes.

They're just trying to make the point that cellulite is a complex condition affected by the interlocking structure of your muscles, fat cells, and connective tissues, and those cellulite-reduction creams and devices are only very temporary fixes, at best, and generally speaking they're all just as bullshit as "cleanses," and the best you can do is exercise properly and eat a healthy diet and accept who you are.

Of course, you've probably heard this before. But you bought that butt cream anyhow. So the Times had to take drastic measures. See this ass? The one covering the entire right side of the page? With little explanation? And making little sense, since the ass pictured is almost cellulite-free, while the story is about the terrible problem of cellulite? Well you forced them—forced them—to put that picture there. Look at it. It's the ass you'll never have. This, ladies and gentlemen, is service journalism at its finest.