Can Farrah Fawcett's jailed son attend her funeral? Is Coolio's next fantastic voyage to jail? Does Johnny Depp watch his own movies? Will Real Housewives of Dirty Jerz (and Kelly Bensimon!) ever go away? How's Walter Cronkite? Let's find out:
Presenting your Saturday morning gossip roundup.
- Farrah Fawcett's son with Ryan O'Neal, Redmond O'Neal, will be able to attend his mother's funeral. He's been serving time since April 5th for a violation of his previous probation by possessing heroin. He'll be allowed to be in a suit, but will have to remain in hand and leg cuffs. He was in prison when he found out about his mother's death; they had previously let him out to visit her on May 15th. Can we have a collective "Really?" please?
- Walter Cronkite is sick, and he's not recuperating, says his family. I somehow don't think they're trying to work their way into the news cycle on this one. [E!]
- Universal execs definitely cut the La Toya Jackson scene from Bruno at screenings that have popped up since Michael Jackson's death. The scene is Bruno, trying to steal Michael Jackson's phone number from La Toya's BlackBerry. I'm sure it was actually pretty funny at one point, and I'm sure Universal execs are just counting down the days until it's funny, again. [Page Six]
- Kendra Wilkinson, former playmate/Hugh Hefner chew toy, is nervous about her wedding. A joke about "a joke about the difficulty in having to read one's own vows" would go here if I could think of anything else, but I can't, so: we hear the tender nerves she's sporting comes from an apprehension about reading her own vows. Better? [People]
- Johnny Depp still doesn't watch his own movies. "Once my job is done on the film, it's really none of my business." Letterman's audience yuks it up, but Depp is being totally sincere. It's kind of Twilight Zone-ish. I got this clip from HuffPo, but I'd rather just link you to the YouTube page, m'kay? [YouTube]
- The Real Housewives Of New Jersey are coming back for a second season after supposedly holding up the renewal over their paychecks. I don't know if this is what you'd call "burying the lede" or not, but either way, whether its in this toxic wasteland of a gossip roundup or the toxic wasteland across the Hudson, something, somewhere has certainly been buried. Possibly the body of a guy named Little Ricky Sluttyfingers. Or possibly our dignity as a species. [NYDN]
- Speaking of your favorite Bravolebrities and people who are making America scarier now that we no longer have Dick Cheney in power to do that for us, the Millionaire Matchmaker, Patty "Please Be A" Stanger can't pay her publicist bills. Her new publicist was like, yeah, no, it's not a problem, but I know that whenever I didn't pay the bills on my Columbia House account, I just went straight to BMG, which, I think, is what she did, except she didn't get 18 free CDs plus one for a penny and I did. Related: one of the songs off of one of those CDs was this one. Moneygrubbers everywhere, of all genders, are sad. [Page Six]
- Faith Hill and Tim McGraw went to go see the Titanic exhibit and waited in line with their kids like everyone else. They didn't want to take photos, but they were very nice to people. And somehow, this is news. Meanwhile, flower-bearing British children everywhere still live in fear of being blasted by the smoldering disdain of Amerikkan celebrities. [Page Six]
- And even more Bravo bullshit! When will it end? (Answer: never.) Kelly Bensimon took OK on a tour of her closet, which has lots of pictures of herself in it. She also gave them this prime quote about her jewelry line, which, really, is easily the stupidest appropriation of Native American culture I've ever read, anywhere: "I took Pocahontas out of the kayak because she was bored, and I put her in the disco so she could have a little fun." A single tear just fell down my face. [NYDN]
- Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Anniston are just friends, you goddamn frogs, says Bradley Cooper, says Bradley Cooper at a French press conference. No, he doesn't actually say that, but he did say "we're just friends" in French, which is neat. Celebrities: they can make you feel insecure about speaking more languages than you, too! [People]
- Hayden Panettiere won't rule out doing nudity on film, and I won't rule out ever seeing anything she's ever been in, yet. Eh? No, I know: I kind of already have. [E!]
- You wanna talk about burying the lede? Here we go: Coolio pleaded guilty to coke possession. Also, I just got enraged over the spell-checker on this computer questioning the word "Coolio." YES IT IS SPELLED CORRECTLY IDIOT COMPUTER. Anyway, he'll be taking a fantastic voyage through an 18-month drug rehabilitation program, after which he can finally roll with his homies, again. [Reuters]