We have a tie! For now. The actuals will come out soon and one film will beat the other. But now! Ambivalence or equality or peace or something. How perfect, as we stand in the smoky ashes of Freedom's birthday.
1) Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs AND Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen — $42.5 million
Apparently people wanted animated anachronisms just as much as they wanted animated inanity this weekend, as the film about dinosaurs returning because of secret caves many years after they'd gone extinct tied with the film about evil robots returning just a few years after they'd been defeated in street-destroying battle. In the five-day weekend release, Ice Age nabbed over $67 million, just a little bit more than Transformers earned in its first day alone. So while the dinos were able to co-rule the Earth this weekend, they'd have been crushed like so many Decepticon skulls had they tried these shenanigans last week. Plus Ice Age doesn't have a writhing, be-Daisy Duke'd mini-Jolie in it, does it? That'd be weird if it did.
3) Public Enemies — $26.2 million
Some grownups and curious skinny-panted budding young film nerds went to the movies too this weekend, helping the major studio art-house gangsta picture rob some $41 million from America's wallets. Unfortunately for the film's word-of-mouth prospects, it only earned a B from CinemaScore audience polling, meaning those grownups might not, in mid wine bottle opening, stop and say "Hank, what's the name of that movie we saw, with the pirate guy? About the mobsters?" [from another room] "Public Enemies!" "Right, right. Well, Susan, it was pretty exciting. Steve would love it I bet. Honey??? Wouldn't Steve love it???" [from another room] "Yeah, he would!" And those budding film geeks? They'll sit at Denny's at 1am and light a Camel Light and tousle their hair in faux deep thought and say "It's one of Mann's lesser films." And Dawn and Patrick will smirk and Allison will quietly swoon and then the waitress will come and they'll just order more coffee and man, this summer feels like forever.
4) The Proposal — $12.8 million
What do you think it's like to be a movie star going to the ATM? Like, you're walking down the street and want to go to lunch and figure you'll need some cash so you go to the nearest vestibule. And you type in your PIN and the thing asks you "This is going to cost $2, is that OK?" and you don't even think about it, press Yes, and then you take out $100 or something and it spits out your receipt or displays your balance on screen and it reads "$15,785,232." That's your checking account. I mean, that must be so fucking nuts. Well, anyway, Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds are probably experiencing that right now, as their film chugs to the brink of the $100 million mark, and they're guaranteed at least another six weeks of stardom. People love Sandy Bullock, which we've known. People also love Ryan Reynolds, which we're just finally figuring out. Snarky sincerity, for the win.
5) The Hangover — $10.4 million
Yeah, I've had a $200 million hangover before too. I mean, that's how it felt. I didn't actually make two hundred million dollars off it. I didn't actually make any money. The grilled cheese delivery guy maybe gave me the wrong change and I made a buck or something. But, that's it. Sigh.
6) Up — $6.6 million
This is now the second highest grossing Pixar film ever. Finding Nemo still holds the top spot, because that was just a phenomenon. It was huge! Remember when that damn thing came out? Everybody was talking about the Nemo. "Where is he? Has he been found? Where do you think he went? Is he under this rock? Check your shoes, is he in there? What about the junk drawer? Allison, honey, before you meet your friends at the Denny's, look in the back of your closet. We gotta find this Nemo. Oh, and Steve, Hank and Linda called, they want to get together for dinner this week. Nemo? Nemo??? Where are you??" That was what it was like. Whereas in this case, Up is just balloon-buoyed by really expensive 3D tickets, I suspect.
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