There Once Was a Man From Nantucket. He Died Broke.

The Way We Live Now: Sucked of our nectar. How far does this hellacious recession reach? All the way into Nantucket, hallowed home of corporate titans. Jack Welch now supports himself by re-selling home run balls he caught, fact.

Nantucket, Maaaaa is home to lots of once-rich people: "Its residents include Eric E. Schmidt, chief executive of Google, and his wife, Wendy; General Electric's former chief executive, Jack Welch; David M. Rubinstein, of the Carlyle Group, a private equity firm; along with hundreds of lesser-known money players at other prominent investment and private equity firms."

Now they're practically paupers, huddled in their unheated, drafty mansions, trying to eke out a living in this wayward fishing village. Overall property values have declined by $6 billion; restaurants are serving breakfast (declassé) in order to try to "make money"; the yacht club's membership is at a crisis-level 78%.

And where is the government? Where is the Red Cross? Where is Habitat for Humanity? They're all at baseball games, trying to snag home run balls that can be traded for signed memorabilia that can be Ebay-ed for a few precious, life-sustaining dollars.

It's true. The last thing keeping millions of Americans afloat is the hope of catching a Joe Mauer dinger, that can be sold to a hardcore Minnesota Twins fan who's put away emergency money for just that purpose. It won't be enough. We should know better. Look what happened in Nantucket. Fuck it. Even Kirby Puckett kicked the bucket.
[Pic via]