The Way We Live Now: Like whores. Common sea lion whores.
We knew the sea lions would get up to this, sooner or later. Blame the recession if you like. We blame the welfare system. For years, we allow these creatures to lounge around their free habitat at the aquarium, growing fat on free fish provided to them by our taxpayer dollars. We get up and go to work in the morning, while they roll about, shielded by blubber that we paid for.
Well. Now times are a bit tougher. Money's a bit scarcer. The sea lions might have to—heaven forbid—go out and get a job. So do they to do some day labor, or sling hash, or tear tickets at the Odeon? Nay. They turn into common whores:
Even the sea lions at New York Aquarium are going to a new extreme to pay the bills — kissing for money.
Visitors can pay $200 for a tour of the sea lion habitat, ending with the opportunity to kiss one of the fluffy sea mammals.
Isn't that just a fine how-do-you-do? Assuming sea lions have morals was always a mug's game. You might be mildly miffed to see that cheerleaders are robbing people in wheelchairs now, or that the housing bust has spread to the "windowless mud-brick hut" market in Guinea, but sea lions selling their own bodies can only be expected. They are common.