The Cretin of the Klondyke Discovers Bartlett's Familiar Quotations

Sarah Palin, America's most notorious goldbricking defeatist, obviously has no idea what to do with herself now that she's returned home from the most painfully staged fishin' excursion ever, because she's just dropping dumb quotes all over her Twitter.

Maybe her tweeting of a Walter Cronkite quote is all part of her elaborate plan to get back at the media by murdering one of their icons, as she's surely aware that Cronkite's brain would explode if he were to learn he was being quoted by Sarah Freaking Palin on Twitter. But wait, there's more!

The Cretin of the Klondyke Discovers Bartlett's Familiar Quotations

The Cretin of the Klondyke Discovers Bartlett's Familiar Quotations

The Cretin of the Klondyke Discovers Bartlett's Familiar Quotations

No, your eyes are not deceiving you. Sarah Palin actually quoted Plato on Twitter.

Meanwhile, Alaskan cock-gansta Levi Johnston has exposed the reason Palin quit her job so abruptly. Money!

Johnston says he lived with the Palin family from early December to the second week in January. He claims he heard the governor several times say how nice it would be to take advantage of the lucrative deals that were being offered, including a reality show and a book.

I think the big deal was the book. That was millions of dollars," said Johnston, who has had a strained relationship with the family but now says things have improved.

Naturally, this provoked a fabulously bitchy quote from Palin's deranged mouthpiece Meghan Stapleton.

"It is interesting to learn Levi is working on a piece of fiction while honing his acting skills."

And the world spins madly on.