Jessica Simpson's Birthday Eve Dumping Changes Everything

Tony Romo dumped Jessica Simpson, Quentin Tarantino talks retirement, Larry King's wife eyes a Broadway role, Renee Zellweger can't get laid, Megan Fox has to get drunk to watch her movies and Lindsay Lohan's hair is falling out.

  • The fairy tale romance between Dallas Cowboys' quarterback Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson has come to an end after he dumped her on the night before her birthday. Love is officially dead, y'all! Hey but Nick Lachey is single again too! [Daily News]

  • Poor Renee Zellweger. She went out in the Hamptons to the shitty Hamptons club Lily Pond over the weekend and left early at 1:30, taking off in a car all by herself. Why won't anyone bang Renee Zellweger? [Page Six]

  • Megan Fox has to get drunk to watch her movies. She says that she had to drink an entire bottle of champagne to get through Transformers 2. Us too! [Daily News]

  • Larry King's wife Shawn is a finalist for one of the lead roles in the new Spiderman musical set to open on Broadway next year. [Page Six]

  • Quentin Tarantino says that he plans to retire from directing when he turns 60 because directors only get worse with age. [Daily News]

  • Michael Jackson's ex-wife, Debbie Rowe, has struck a deal with Michael's mother to keep Joe Jackson's crazy ass from getting anywhere near Michael's kids. [Mirror]

  • After 8 months of living on an island in an effort to get clean, Amy Winehouse has returned to the UK just as much of a mess as she ever was. We look forward to all the great London tabloid photos surely to come featuring Amy staggering in the streets. [Sun]

  • All the hair extension jobs might be causing Lindsay Lohan to lose her hair. And we're sure that the drugs and questionable sanity have nothing to do with it as well. [Mirror]

  • Nicole Richie went to the beach with Joel Madden and wore a two piece to show off her ginormous baby bump. [Daily Mail]

  • Speaking of the beach, my fellow Cajun Ali Landry is still arguably the most beautiful girl in the world. [WWTDD]