Ha! Apparently word has spread like wildfire through the nation's "heroin-addicted hobo" community about the Mad Max-esque, post-apocalyptic wasteland that is Williamsburg, Brooklyn, because they're descending upon the hipster utopia in droves to squat in the neighborhood's abandoned developments.
Heroin-addict hobos from around the country are overrunning hipster haven Williamsburg - living in stalled luxury condo projects in the trendy Brooklyn neighborhood.
The squatters, from middle-class families, hop freight trains to the city, where they can earn up to $150 a day panhandling in Manhattan. At night, like plenty of other borough commuters, they return to their homes: grubby hideaways inside boarded-up lots that pock the once-booming neighborhood.
"I've got to sleep somewhere, and I might as well do it in Williamsburg," said Stuart, 22, a Florida college dropout.
The admitted alcoholic and heroin user makes $15 an hour panhandling in Union Square, holding a sign that reads "Traveling Broke and Sexy."
"The girls here like it that I'm dirty and I ride trains," he added.
Ha! We never really thought of it in this way, but Williamsburg has to be one of the few places in the country where "hobos" can get ass from non-prostitutes on the regular. Really, if you're a girl who's turned on by the whole homeless heroin addict look, might as well bang the real deal if it's available to you rather than someone who's just pretending, right? We imagine that a real homeless heroin addict walking into a bar in Williamsburg is just like the real Tucker Max walking into a kegger at Arizona State. The world is your slimy oyster.