Meghan McCain Won't Share Ticket With 'Dumbass' Joe The PlumberS

Setting an example for children of royalty, everywhere, Megan McCain wants people to know that the help should stick to being the help after explaining what depths Joe The Plumber should intellectually excavate next. Hint: It's near his plumber's crack.

McCain's making publicity rounds again, in some kind of incredible quadruple-floop-reverse-psychology media strategy that falls somewhere between the minds of Willy Wonka and Crispin, Porter +Bogusky. It involves her going to liberal media outlets and talking smack on the Republican Party, appearing to piss off Daddy, and burying the lede (that she's, like, so the future of the Republican Party). This time, she totes kicked it with her Geigh Friends at Out, and had this to say about the McCain/Palin campaign's breathing version of the Sickle and Hammer, political casualty Joe The Plumber:

"Joe the Plumber — you can quote me — is a dumbass. He should stick to plumbing,"

Know your place, silly prole mascot! You excavated shit for a living before you ruined her shot at awesomeness and that's all you're ever going to do now that she can't Roll With Her Homies in DC. Meanwhile, she also told Out that, besides advocating the legalization of gay marriage, she'd "be flattered to be considered the anti-Ann Coulter, the anti-Rush Limbaugh," and managed to completely avoid discussing Sarah Palin. Nice. She also supposedly got Rush Limbaugh to tell her to go Arlen Specter and just peace out on the Republicans, which Dad's definitely going to love.

Meanwhile, she continues to add editorial luster to The Daily Beast by coming down on Young Republicans election of a racist to their leadership post, is advising young people to fuck cowboys (and not horses), and is not preggers/did not see Tupac get shot, and is currently getting trashed on DayQuil as I write this.

There's quite simply nothing to be said or done that could adequately express how utterly confounding, impressive, and awe-inspiring Meghan McCain's media strategy is. She's the Lady Gaga of political nobodies; it's like Dash Snow died, and she stepped in. Every publicist in the world should be taking notes, as this is how you defy expectations: subversively call everyone on their bluff and wait for them to keep thinking you're full of shit before the joke becomes an Andy Kaufman-esque reality.

Or just extend teenage belligerence into some kind of professional career. Either way, genius.

Meghan McCain Will Be Heard [Out]