God and Satan Square Off As Episcopal Church Blesses Gay Unions

Episcopalians may implode on themselves in bloody civil war. As the only religion to step into the 21st Century, the U.S. Episcopal Church has declared Hell Yes to blessing same-sex unions. The global church is a-gonna raise hell.

Don't rush out to buy your wedding bands yet. Even though the resolution passed at yesterday's triennial national convention, it still has to be mulled over further at the church's next general conference-in three frickin' years! Sounds quicker than Obama's molasses movement on DADT.

God and Satan Square Off As Episcopal Church Blesses Gay UnionsS

Limitations: the civil unions will only be recognized in states that currently allow them. Also, the church is strictly keeping its definition of marriage between "male and female." Nonetheless, as the only Christian denomination to ordain an open gay bishop, Gene Robinson, the American Episcopal Church once again proves itself the forerunner in contemporary religion, being the first to pull their head out of their ass to recognize society changes, and religious culture should, too.

As for the global Episcopal community, most of whom waged war when Robinson was ordained, they're certain to unleash the fire and brimstone. Hell hath no fury than fanatics facing the clock of progress.