You know when the Sunday New York Times profiles Diane Von Furstenberg - fashion designer, wife of heterosexual business owner Barry Diller - they're going to deliver. And oh, did they. Welcome to Diane Von Furstenberg's Secrets to Success.
It's funny, because the profile really does read like a motivational pull-a-day calendar. For example:
1. Compensate For Fears About The Economy And State Of Fashion With Complete, Blind "Confidence":
"It's more important than ever to have confidence," says Ms. von Furstenberg, creator of the body-hugging wrap dress so emblematic of 1970s fashion that it hangs in the Smithsonian Institution.
2. Insecurity About Anything Is For Absolute Suckers, Who Go Bankrupt:
"Everyone else is insecure. If you start to take a little bit of everyone else's insecurity - forget it." It takes chutzpah to say as much in a recession, when the nation's top department stores - Neiman Marcus, Saks, Nordstrom - are posting monthly sales declines. The fashion house of the couturier Christian Lacroix unraveled in May, filing for protection from creditors. Boutiques like Linda Dresner, Tracey Ross and Georgina are but memories.
3. Be Cool As Ice. And Down With The Youngs:
"It's absolutely wonderful to be considered cool," says Ms. von Furstenberg - her French-tinged drawl elongating the word "cool" - "by girls who are very often a lot younger than my children."
4. But Don't Make Clothing For Them. Children And Men Are For Lessah Fashion Designers.
"I am not interested in making children's clothes," she says. "I want little girls to want to grow up to wear the clothes. I do not want to do men's clothes. My mission in life, what I understand in life, is women. I wanted to be a certain kind of a woman. I became that kind of a woman."
5. Do It Yourself, Girlfriend.
"Independent," she says, taking her eyes off the rain. "Independent. Independent. Financially independent."
Unfortunately, rules six, seven, and eight don't make the article:
6. Make Sure To Know What The Kids Like. The Kids Like Comic Books. So Make Them.
7. Uh, Don't Throw Stones At Evil Rooftop Lairs Or Glass Houses? Because you'll end up living in one.
8. But Don't Be Too Independent To Not Have A Sugar Daddy Best Friend/Husband You're A Beard To: She's a pretty good beard for IAC chairman Barry Diller, her mogul husband who she was once with, then separated, then became best friends with, then married again, then one time invited home. He's got lots of money and probably shoveled some cash in to help her company get back on its feet. There's no proof of this, but, really: come on. I did see them fall out of Minetta Tavern recently, so it's nice to know they get dinner together every once in a while.