Chopped Onion Makes Us Cry

Well-played, Onion tipsters: That rumor we heard last week about a possible Onion buyout announcement Monday? It was insiders who lulled us into promoting their new we're-selling-out-to-China issue.

Onion CEO Steve was not a fan of our early reporting on the Onion's closure of its San Francisco and Los Angeles editions; we don't expect he particularly appreciated our reprinting of a memo in which he told staff they needed to kowtow to advertisers.

Now the paper seems to have tricked us into running not one but two items about rumors it was going to sell. Who knows if their new owner, the Yu Wan Mei Amalgamated Salvage Fisheries and Polymer Injection Corp., made a better offer than Comedy Central, but we did laugh at this line: "Experts all agreed that there can be no question of this claim, as this claim is the truth."