"The Family," a fundamentalist Christian sect founded by 1930s right-wingers, owns a townhouse for congressmen in DC. Lots of those Congressmen have been cheating on their wives. So now people keep paying too much attention to this secretive, Mafia-inspired group.
It is a big problem! See, lots and lots of Senators and Representatives have lived or prayed or conducted business at this little C Street townhouse, where male congressmen live, dormitory-style, for well below-market rates, because this political organization is called a church for tax purposes.
Oh, did we say political organization? The family was started by an anti-Roosevelt preacher, see, who was quickly adopted by business leaders, and the group's current leader rather explicitly wants to train and plant fundamentalist Christians in all levels of the American government and military, and also their little townhouse is the scene of actual Congressional business, sometimes, as we learn in Roll Call today:
The house also serves as a venue for business - Sen. James Inhofe (R-Okla.), for example, hosts a quarterly lunch with African ambassadors at C Street to discuss foreign policy issues.
So these congressmen all just wanted to quietly live their Christian lives, together, and not be bothered by anyone wondering what the hell they were up to, but then C Street-affiliated politicians John Ensign, Mark Sanford, and Chip Pickering all got caught cheating on their wives, and other C Street residents were said to be "counseling" them on how, exactly, Jesus Christ would pay off the family of his mistress. But what's that, Tom Coburn, why aren't we allowed to learn what you said to John Ensign?
Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.), a C Street resident who reportedly counseled Ensign on how to handle his affair with a former staffer, has stayed mum about such conversations, citing constitutional protections for communications during religious counseling, as well as the doctor-patient confidentiality privilege. Coburn calls himself an "ordained deacon" and is an obstetrician.
Huh. So he is John Ensign's deacon and OB/GYN. Convenient!
Some members say everyone should just leave C Street alone, because it is none of our business what is going on there, and other members just think being associated with that holy cathouse is bad politics.
Asked one occasional guest of C Street: "The concept is fantastic, but if it has no credibility, what's the reason for someone to live there?"
Didn't we mention the below-market rent?