Five Pitches for Burgeoning Sitcom Star Padma LakshmiS

Padma Lakshmi is trying to make the leap from reality TV judge to sitcom star. Discussions about a new series (possible, boring, title: Single Serving) center around Padma working in the culinary world. How unsatisfying! Here are some better ideas.

1. Padma and the Hendersons
Padma has reinvented herself from foodie to zombie in the past year. Her natural next step is a Harry & the Hendersons-esque comedy about a regular Midwestern family who adopts the Padma zombie. At first the Hendersons want to keep zombie Padma a secret but eventually the public finds out and embraces her. Through the course of the show Padma zombie discovers how to balance a high-profile life full of exhibition, scientific studies, and her human family.

2. Put the Love in the Basket
Anxious for a new roomie, Buffalo Bill (the wang-tucking serial killer from Silence of the Lambs) puts an ad on Craigslist. The ad says that all applicants must be female and a size 14. When slender, quirky, vegetarian chef named Grace, played by Padma, shows up on his doorstep Bill is skeptical. But her love of sewing and small dogs charms Bill into letting her stay. The two learn about love, health, and knife work in this apartment based comedy.

3. Fools Rushdie In
Any kind of a reality show in the style of Newlyweds or the Osbournes. She and Salman get back together!

4. Scrubbing the Grey House
Padma would star in a medical drama that would be based on a mash up on the other successful medical dramas out. Under the cruel tutelage of a sadistic but brilliant surgeon (played by Anthony Bourdain) Padma would learn that fate is indifferent and you can only find meaning in the relationships around you. And in opiates.

5. Hamburger Paddy: The Burger Queen
Paddy, a successful super-model has it all — but she craves even more! Paddy wants a movie deal. But no matter how many acting classes she takes Paddy only gets cast in fast food commercials. How will Paddy over come her deficits as an unpalatable woman of negligible talent and outsized ambition? Will she be able to keep her weight down and her spirits up as the Hollywood drive through scene chews her up and spits her out? Stay Tuned!