Bob Weinstein, silent-but-deadly snake-in-the-grass to brother Harvey's raging grizzly bear, is looking for a new assistant. The job is posted anonymously, but we know people who assure us it's him. It, uh... it sounds like a goddamned nightmare.
Bob, who used to be known as the money-maker of the duo until the Weinstein Co. started steadily going broke, lets his big bro hog the limelight (basically he's played quiet Prince Geoffrey to Harvey's Prince Richard in the Weinstein Family Players' production of Lion in Winter). But he's just as legendary in the scary boss department. Many moguls have whole fleets of scared, skittering assistants—the one who survives the longest wins... something—but it looks like the recessiony times have forced Bob to cut down to just one "fuckface" around the office.
Whoever lands this plum position will be miserable. On call twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week (wouldn't it be great if there was some snappy way to abbreviate that phrase??), and forced, basically, to do everything. From answering phones to running random personal errands to booking travel — which includes what can only be called consensual kidnapping — to entertaining obnoxious "A-list talent" to the ominous-sounding "gate-keeping."
There is, of course, no mention of pay.
A top NYC entertainment executive is looking for an executive assistant.
The ideal candidate should have excellent communication skills, excel under high pressure, and be motivated, dedicated and extremely loyal. This person will be representing the executive and the company, and must be professional at all times. This is a 24/7 job; you will be the only assistant to this executive. You must be available on nights and weekends, and expect to spend long hours in the office.
· Managing heavy phones, rolling calls, and maintaining call sheet
· Scheduling meetings and managing calendar for all work and personal related matters
· Supply constant mobile communication and attend to personal errands
· Preparation and submission of expense reports
· Liaison between executive and studio presidents, financial institutions, talent agencies, principal investors, fortune 500 CEOs, writers, directors, producers, and A-list talent
· Able to juggle multiple tasks, deadlines, and responsibilities
· Booking all travel and travel arrangements
· Traveling with executive, usually at the last minute and for unknown periods of time
· Superb gate-keeping skills
· Ability to travel on a moments notice and stay away from home for uncertain amounts of time
· Ability to stay on top of an ever-changing day and night
· Attending events and company-related functions with executive
· Take dictation and be responsible for speaking on behalf of executive
· Coordinate screenings, meetings, private lodging, parties, etc. for executive and senior staff
Experience and qualifications must include:
· BA/BS degree
· Expansive knowledge of film and the film industry
· Must know how to do script coverage
· Minimum 2-3 years experience assisting another top-level executive or high-level professional
· Organized and detail-oriented
· Excellent writing and communication skills
· Personable and professional demeanor
· Minimum of three references
· Must know how to use blackberry and Microsoft Outlook
· Mac & PC literate
If you meet all necessary qualifications and are interested in this position, please send your cover letter, resume, and list of references to: email@example.com