Fox & Friends! Hunh. What is it good for? Absolutely nothing. But still we press on with the deconstructing of it! Today: Brian Kilmeade, a cake left out in the rain, talks about his totes hetero crush on Bono.

It would be funny if he said "I love Boner—I mean Bono!", but that doesn't happen. No, instead his buttery day-old Red Lobster biscuit of a face just falls when discussing his beloved fellow Irishman's apparent hypocrisy and doublespeak when it comes to the president formerly known as George W. Bush. See, Bons is all about Bush's AIDS-in-Africa work (he did a lot, actually! but in a kind of creepy Evangelical way!) when in public, but in private... Well, when Dubya tries to hug Bono, Bono will not accept the charges.

This all makes Bri-Bri Kilmickles very sad. Meanwhile Steve Doocy just clucks in his corner like the Neverending Story II creepy bird (look on the right) that he is, and some Replacement Gretchen just mutters stuff.


And it's all done very, very heterosexually.