Arnold Schwarzenegger, the actor and amateur governor, just posted a video to Twitter in which he casually brandishes a knife. This is bizarre enough to terrify even the jaded and severely battered citizens of California.

No one knows why on Earth Schwarzenegger showed off a massive bowie knife from his chair in the governor's office. Asked about it by a local TV station, his own spokesman said, quote, "I don't know why he is holding a knife."

The governor didn't address the knife in his video, instead setting it quickly aside to suggest that people on Twitter send him more super brilliant ideas like the one in which he will personally autograph property being auctioned by the state, thus solving California's budget crisis with the brilliance of his action-movie-star celebrity. Yes, just a few more ideas like that and California's $26 billion deficit will be gone.


The state has been paying people with IOUs, the sort of scrip you'd find in a common third-world country, after failing to pass a budget by the deadline three weeks ago. Schwarzenegger just reached a tentative budget deal with legislators that allows offshore oil drilling, steals $4 billion from local governments, cuts $6 billion from education and chops AIDS programs.

Obviously this is the sort of manly butcher work you'd want to brag about to millions of people, over the internet, by showing off the knife you used to personally cut off HIV help.