Mischa Barton's Meltdown Ends, Not With a Bang, But a Celeb-Weekly WhimperS

When Mischa Barton got on the train to Cuckootown we thought she joined the ranks of Britney Spears and Mariah Carey. Not really, because people seemed to actually care about their public descent into madness. Is the celeb meltdown passe?

Page Six reports that Barton's publicist can't even get his gonzo client on the cover of any of the tabloid magazines. What, did OK! have the first pictures of Paz Vega's baby instead?

"As sad as Mischa's recent problems are, what seems to be upsetting her representatives even more is that no one really cares," said the editor

Mischa Barton's Meltdown Ends, Not With a Bang, But a Celeb-Weekly WhimperS

Is that because after the head-shaving, chopper-chasing, ambulance-cramming awesomeness of Britney going bonkers, everything pales in comparison? These are just a handful of the covers that were coming out on a weekly basis in 2007 during Britney's spectacular fall from grace. Just a year later, Heather Locklear barely got any when she started acting nuts.

Mischa Barton's Meltdown Ends, Not With a Bang, But a Celeb-Weekly WhimperS

Running concurrently with Britney during the summer of tabloid gold, Lindsay Lohan was arrested for DUI more than once and was in and out of rehab. She even managed to score the cover of the New York Post and the Daily News on the same day!

Mischa Barton's Meltdown Ends, Not With a Bang, But a Celeb-Weekly WhimperS

Or is it, sadly, that neither of these women are famous enough for their mental condition to warrant our concern? It's probably a combination of that and the lack of a really sensational story, like Anne Heche wandering into people's houses in her underwear babbling about spaceships (remember that?!). See, Mischa, you just didn't go crazy enough.

Regardless of the reason, it looks like Barton is going to have to get on the cover of a tabloid the old fashioned way. You know, by being a good actress, getting knocked up, or having her husband leave her and their eight children to chase floozies around Southhampton with Michael Lohan.