Jul 23, 2009 01:47 PM
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Tue Feb 9
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Since the world's financial institutions have crumbled, the Wall Street Journal now has time to concern itself with more important things, like cankles, which has given rise to perhaps the best front-page hedcut (pictured) in the paper's storied history.
Teenage girls everywhere are weeping now that they have a totally new form of body dysmorphia. For those who don't swear by Urban Dictionary as a way to kill time at work, the condition is when an ankle is so fat it joins itself to the calf, hence "cankle." Like other non diseases (dry eye syndrome, anyone) the cankle became of note becaues it became a way for some corporation to make a lot of money. This time it's Gold's Gym, who have declared July "Cankle Awareness Month." Trust us, one ride on the A Train with a bunch of fat tourists and you'll be mighty aware of cankles.
The gym is offering classes and workouts designed for women (and gay men) who want to work on toning their lower extremities and plumping their calves.
"Gold's personal trainers lead clients through a cankles-targeted regimen of jump rope, calf raises and jumping squats. As part of the promotion, the Irving, Texas, gym chain, with more than 500 locations across the country, launched a tongue-in-cheek SayNoToCankles.com Web site that offers tips such as fat-burning cardiovascular activities and brisk daily walks."
Yeah, we get that leggings are back and it's summer and Carrie Bradshaw decreed that all the girls should wear strappy sandles, but this is just ridiculous. At least there is one lady in the story making some sense.
To help persuade girls to embrace their chubby ankles, Carly Peitzmeyer, a 21-year-old senior at Truman State University in Kirksville, Mo., formed a Facebook support group called "Cankles Unite!" "I'm not overweight or anything, I just have really huge ankles," she says. "Really, there are bigger things to worry about."
Yes, there are bigger things to worry about, like your feck. What's that? That's when you neck is so fat that it merges with your face.
Send an email to Brian Moylan, the author of this post, at brian@gawker.com.
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