Even if Congress fucks up health care reform and leaves millions of poor people on the All-Robitussin Health Plan, we would be mollified if they succeed in getting all those fucking prescription drug ads off TV. Please.

The New York Times counts four different legislators trying to attack the epidemic of 'Viva Viagra!' ads from different angles: they violate decency standards, they promote dangerous overuse of risky drugs, they're a poor use of the tax code. Which is fucking true, come on:

Representative Jerrold Nadler, Democrat of New York, has introduced a bill called the Say No to Drug Ads Act. It would amend the federal tax code to prevent pharmaceutical companies from deducting the cost of direct-to-consumer drug advertisements as a business expense.

We, the consumers, should be allowed to deduct as a "business expense" the Tivos we use to fast-forward past Cialis ads during sporting events, the double-paned windows we install to prevent our neighbors from hearing genital wart elixir ads blaring from our living rooms, and the pitchforks we buy, to deal with any pharmaceutical marketing executives we might come across.

And speaking of pharmaceutical marketing executives! One of them offers the defense that hey, TV ads aren't such a big deal; after all, "drug companies spent much more on direct marketing to physicians."

Like we said: pitchforks. Throw us this bone, Congress. We know you're not going to give us a good national health care plan. At least let us watch a fucking football game in peace.