In your woozy Tuesday media column: MSNBC pulls in the crazies for airtime, Gallant former journo beats Goofus current journo, NYT family members catch the swine flu, and the LA Times is all fucked up.

Haha, douchebag Donny Deutsch is now an MSNBC anchor. Related(???): Howard Dean is guest-hosting Keith Olbermann's MSNBC show tonight and tomorrow. What is brewing over at MSNBC? Ayahuasca is our guess.

Yo check out how awesome this Pulitzer prize-winning former Copley News Service dude named Jerry Kammer is: "When Gannett bought the paper, they turned Arizona into a colony. As history shows, the purpose of a colony is not to provide for the well-being of the natives; it is to generate profits for the home country, which in this case was Gannett corporate headquarters." Preach! "The Gannettoids aren't uniquely guilty. They're just part of the steady ascendancy of buccaneer capitalism in our country. Look at Wall Street, where the bastards went wild with the smiling benediction of Alan Greenspan, whose every non-move was directed by the Gospel of Ayn Rand...I used to think my politics were moderate or slightly left-of-center. But the perversions of capitalism that I've seen during my career as a reporter (including several years covering Charlie Keating and the plundering of the S&Ls) have persuaded me that Karl Marx was right when he said capitalism would be destroyed by its own excesses." This cat is off the hook. Nuff respect, Jerry Kammer.

Now, contrast Mr. Kammer—a former journalist—with John Fund, who wrote this on the august editorial page of the WSJ just yesterday: "Ms. Palin appeared liberated by leaving office and used blunt words to take her media critics down a peg. 'You represent what could and should be a respected, honest profession that could and should be a cornerstone of our democracy,' she said. 'Democracy depends on you, and that is why — that's why our troops are willing to die for you. So how about in honor of the American soldier, you quit makin' things up.'...
Ms. Palin will no doubt have a future as a stump speaker and political commentator in the lower 48, and her media critique certainly will find receptive audiences."
The lesson: former journalists are far wiser than current ones. Or maybe it's just: John Fund is stupid.

New York Times reporter Sheryl Gay Stolberg's teenage daughter was quarantined in China with suspected swine flu. Who will be next? And will they be able to parlay their swine flu experience into a New York Times story? The answers are "Thomas Friedman's second cousin" and "you betcha."

The LA Times is all fucked up: somebody clicked on the "Print edition" version online and got this screenshot this morning. Here's hoping this is not the actual print edition!