Oh goodness. I'd hoped for a good clip to end my Fox & Friends "coverage", and the video team has delivered. Today the pompadoured earwigs were discussing America-hating Bill Maher. Why doesn't he leave and go to France?

You know, it was just Brian "Reggie" Kilmeade, Gretchen "Big Ethel" Carlson, and Steve "Miss Beazley" Doocy saying that Bill Maher thinks Americans are dumb for liking Sarah Palin. See, Sarah Palin is just like "regular folks" and blah blah blah forever and ever with this awful, annoying party line.

I hate to tell you guys, but you are not regular Americans. Not a single tax-payin' one of you. And these animate honeydew melons want their audience to know that. Though it's all trickery and silliness, because they're not regular Americans either. These rich, New York-dwelling TV toucans are just putting on their lame little show to make money, inadvertently ruining America one gurgling syllable at a time.


Sigh. That said, it's really funny! How Gretchen gets her concerned Issues face. How Steve Doocy chuckles at his own idiocy. How Bri-Bri Kilmickles just plays Short Round's scenes from Temple of Doom over and over in his head on an endless loop. Here's the dumb fatty brain of America, you Saab-driving irregulars! Fear it and love it. Cherish it and destroy it.

For my part, I'll be that dot you see, running into the hills. Receding on the horizon, on and on and on, until I cannot hear their voices anymore.