The Recession's Real Victims: White Guys

The Way We Live Now: As victims. Who really got hurt by this recession? Everyone thinks "The Poors," or "Small Business." Wrong. Spare a moment to sympathize with the real victims. Like white males. And ExxonMobil. And toilets!

"Older white males hurt more by this recession," trumpets USA Today. I think that says it all. You should be ashamed of yourselves, young black women. It's your fault. "White men over 55 had a record 6.5% unemployment rate in the second quarter," while "The most remarkable change is in the unemployment rate for black women: 12.2%, far below the historic peak of 20% in 1983."

So while black ladies were getting all the jobs, older white males were losing their jobs, leading their unemployment rate to soar to more than half that of your unemployment rate, minority women! The selfishness on display in our society today would make many people sick, such as Abraham Lincoln.

It's just like the mess we always hear about saving "small business." Hey, here's an idea: let's save big business. It's bigger! Big business was also a leading employer of white men. Exxon was once the most profitable corporation ever seen on God's Green Earth; but this quarter, its towering profits fell by two thirds. They couldn't even crack the $4 billion net revenue mark in the last three months.

Who else gets hurt? White men owning Exxon stock. And the native tribes of various oil-rich third world regions. They get hurt as well.

But recession victim-mongering is not about dividing us; it is about uniting us together, as people who need to pee, but can't. Because California is so damn broke that it cannot devote the necessary amount of resources to solving last year's tragic "string of portable-toilet fires." They're still unsolved. Just like another crime: the hard heart of humanity. Black female humanity.
[Pic: Flickr]