This week, we all had a beer, with the president, in our minds. In real life we just had beers by ourselves, like always. Well, on Tuesday we had beers with Richard.
- Dov Charney remained the creepiest motherfucker in retail. And 4Chan remained the creepiest fucking internet community on... the internet. But 4Chan has made us laugh more than Dov. They are adorable, like little Montauk Monsters roaming wild in Canada.
- The 911 call that got Henry Louis Gates arrested was released, and hey, it seems to maybe indicate that the police report—which many media outlets continue to treat as an objective record of the facts of the matter—had some "inaccuracies." But also, yes, we're sorry if we ever said the lady who called the cops was a racist. She was just vigilant, as rich people in fancy rich neighborhoods must always be. The cop is still a liar, though. Though we are supposed to say it was a misunderstanding between Two Good Men, in this post-beer summit era.
- Pour one out for Ben Silverman, who flew too close to the sun, and who also sucked at running a network.
- Funny People was almost only one half-hour too long, but thank god the studio caved.
- We noticed that Sarah Palin makes less and less sense every day.
- Speaking of people who make no sense: Fox News was all "Glenn Beck's opinions do not represent the opinions of Fox News." Does that mean Glenn Beck actually doesn't think Obama's a communist? Meanwhile, Fox & Friends, who—based on the title of their show—surely do represent the opinions of Fox News, think you are not a Real American, because you dislike Sarah Palin. (And on CNN, Anderson Cooper is giggling about hetero-sex.)
- Are either of your parents famous or rich? Good news: now you work for the Huffington Post! (Or The Daily Beast.)
- Pay a teenager to a make veiled reference to a movie before an audience of one graduating high school class? Yes, what a wonderful marketing idea, here is your zillion dollars.
- Paying the assistants of Hollywood agents as little as $10/hr may prevent talented young people from wanting to enter that important and world-bettering field. We must not allow it.
- If Anna Wintour wanted universal health care, we'd have it by now. She's that powerful.
- ABC Family's Greek is really gay, which we obviously mean as an endorsement.
- On the one hand, it's nice that Today didn't give Blago more attention. On the other hand, we would rather watch Blago do standup for an hour every night, in primetime, than ever see Jay Leno on a television again.
- Michael Jackson's annoying celebrity rabbi friend once asked Katie Couric to be one of Michael's celebrity friends! It didn't work out, though.
- Bloggers are bitchy and hate things. Tabloids lie. John Travolta is still a Scientologist.
- Annie Leibovitz sez everything must go! We wish she would sell her retouching software!
- Drunk, nearly nude man produces possibly inadvertent metaphor.
- Richard, and Tinsley, left us. It is all kinds of sad.