Since formally leaving office as the governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin has yet to fulfill her promise to start a new "less politically correct" Twitter account. Thankfully, Palin's hairdresser down at the Beehive in Wasilla is taking up her slack.
Yes, the delightfully feisty Jessica Steele (no relation to Michael Steele as far as we know), or "Beehive Jessica" as she's known on Twitter, has been tweeting up a little storm of late, first dispelling rumors of a Palin hair-thinning crisis, and now she's calling out dastardly bloggers and Palin political opponents for the various sins they've committed against Saint Sarah. Hell, if you didn't know any better, you'd swear that Palin herself had hacked into Jessica's account and fired off a few of her patented rhetorical daggers under Jessica's name, but we all know that she's, ugh, just not capable of such competence. Behold:
Who knows what the heck inspired this. Perhaps the rumors that spread over the weekend on the internet about Sarah and Todd's possible divorce?
Here's Jessica retweeting how Dan Fagan, an Anchorage Daily News columnist/Palin critic, has found God and apologized to Palin and other Alaskan politicians because he's "ashamed of the way I have conducted myself publicly in recent years."
And here's Jessica basically telling Dan Fagan to take his stupid finding Jesus-inspired apology and stick it where the great Alaskan sun doesn't shine, just like Sarah Palin would!
Now Sarah, if you happen to read this, please come back to us on Twitter. Your Twitter account was possibly the best thing ever birthed by the wretched sewage pit that is the internet. It's hard not to love ole Beehive Jessica, especially if you're feeding her tweet material, but she's just not you darling. Then again, who is?