Why Don't We All Just Bake Magic Happy Cakes, Then

The Way We Live Now: In the kitchen. New York City can no longer afford post offices, but the city is offering a million bucks for somebody to bake bread under the train tracks in East Harlem. Yea. Thanks.

Soon, there will be 14 fewer post offices in NYC. Who cares? You could save that stamp money and buy scratch-off tickets. It's the only way you'll make it big these days. As a consolation prize, the city council has allocated $1 million for somebody to set up and run a bakery, in East Harlem, under the tracks. Why?

The city is overflowing with aspiring chefs and bakers, but "they don't have the dough to build a kitchen," said Christine C. Quinn, the Council speaker.

Hee haw. The city is also overflowing with rats, sewage, and crack, but you don't see the "politicos" setting aside tax dollars for a dirty water wave pool for crackhead rats, do you? No, they already have that, and it's called "Staten Island."

What does Princess Firyal of Jordan think about all this? She has no opinion. She's too busy dealing with the $500,000 per year upkeep costs of the $35 million "7,000-square-foot apartment overlooking Central Park" at the Pierre Hotel, that she got from her financier husband. Also, she does not eat bread. Carbs.

It's all coming together now. California has been ordered to free 43,000 prison inmates, because conditions in their jails are unconstitutional. IDEA: Charge Cali a modest fee and bring them here. They can stay in the Princess' crib (it's spacious) and work at the bread factory. Then we can go live in the jails. Free!
[Pic via]