SoHo House, why're you so cruel? The Manhattan country club thriving on envy of an "elite" membership will crack down on violators of their draconian policies/culture eugenics! Suits are neit wanted. Neither are real books, which they intend to imprison.
A report from the trenches comes to us from a deeply disturbed member of the 'House. The last time you heard from SoHo House, they were spending the summer attempting to cleanse themselves of unsavory, money-earning types or just trying to off them. Well, it looks like they've finally
advanced on Poland started to enforce the rule. And maybe they have quotas? From deep in the belly of the beast, we hear from a tipster who's being discriminated against in real time:
I went to the movie two days ago, got a bottle of wine and sat with a friend. Suit and no tie. And I got a call yesterday from someone saying they really want the club to be relaxed and asking me not to wear a suit and tie on the roof. I told her I was wearing no tie and was at the movie, and she said they are really trying to make the club a more relaxed place like it used to be. And that the club was for artistic people. And that it was part of "an ongoing conversation." It was as Orwellian as it was annoying
For a conversation about curating a community of creative types, it sounds pretty angry and one-sided. Isn't trying to bring together a community of artists by shutting down a means of expression counter-intuitive? What if an artist ejaculated on that suit, or something? You don't know what art is, Man. Meanwhile, they're also trying to make SoHo House a distinctly more, ahem, literary place to be. From an email sent out to members recently:
Real Library, Real Books
As part of the Library renovation, we're replacing the bookshelf wallpaper with real shelves and real books. We're planning on having a section devoted to members' books so if you're an author and would like to donate some copies, please let Claire know at email@example.com. Likewise, we'd love to hear from publishers and agents who may be able to donate.
You know someone there used to spend hours rifling through that wallpaper. This is sad. But Claire would love to hear from you, Agents! May we suggest selections from the Gawker Book Club or Status Galley Book Club. Or maybe even something sprung from Gawker's loins! You have plenty of Tumblr-To-Book-Deal books to choose from - they are easy reads! Often in large print with plenty of pictures, and also, are not narrative-driven - or even The Official, Critically Acclaimed Gawker Book, a few copies of which we'd be glad to donate to your cause (don't worry, we have a few extras after unloading some on the
masochistic coding squad now-enlightened citizens of Hungary during our last visit there).
Truly! There's use you can find from these books, especially now that the Culture Gestapo is on the loose. We hereby bequeath you our advance review copy of Look At This Fucking Hipster, as it'll help you separate the blue-bloods from the impostors amongst you, as well as help you understand the transformation your reflection is undergoing. Happy hunting!