If you still have last night's third season premiere of Mad Men sitting on your DVR, move on to something else. Or maybe you're not planning to watch. Either way, here are the plot points Matt Weiner put into play.
1. Pete and Ken are both named head of accounts: This is the biggest (and most obvious) setup of the evening. When they fire the old head of accounts, the new Brits in town divide his job between Pete and Ken, dropping the hint that they expect one of them to out perform the other. Narcissist Pete is pissed, of course, and whines to his wife (who wears a killer hat to the office). Ken is cooler about it and thinks that it's a good opportunity for competition.
What's coming: It's war. And Ken is toast. Also, more hats!
2. Sal gets caught with a dude: Well, it was bound to happen eventually, because he's not a very convincing heterosexual. When he and Don go to Baltimore to save their London Fog account, Ken calls the front to get his air conditioning fixed, and the bellhop who shows up to fix it is only interested in using one tool, and it's Sal's. Before they can go all the way, the fire alarm goes off, and Don sees the two men together. Sal is relieved that Don don't mention it.
What's coming: Something like this is bound to come out (har har) eventually. Either Sal is going to get outed or he'll confide in Don, but maybe the closet door is cracking open a bit.
3. Peggy can't get her secretary to do any work: We didn't get to see much of the firm's only female copywriter and this episode she only interacted with the show's other females—both secretaries who weren't having any of Peggy's nonsense. First, her secretary has a hard time getting any work done because she's flirting with one of the Brits who is now employed at taken-over Sterling Cooper. Then Joan gives her the brush off at the elevator, asserting her authority as the babe with the biggest balls.
What's coming: How is Peggy going to overcome the chauvinism of the office when not even the ladies have her back? It's going to be another lonely year.
4. Don says he'll "always come home": We find out that Don wasn't raised by his prostitute mother, who died in child birth. His working-girl mom told Don's dad "If you knock me up, I'll cut your dick off." After she dies, the midwife names the baby Dick. Ha! Later, DonDick tells his upset daughter that "he'll always come home," but then has a hard time staying focused when telling her about the night she was born.
What's coming: More sadness and ennui for the Drapers, of course. However, his "I'll always come home," can either be a promise that he's going to break or a threat that he's going to keep. But these two won't break up. Who else is going to torture them?
5. Joan and Moneypenny have it out: Joan is one fierce bitch, and that is why she totally hands a new British "secretary" his ass without ever raising her voice. When he starts to think that he's better than the girls in the pool, she assigns him a vacant office. She knows how to please a man—always appeal to his ego—but it's obvious she's setting a trap. Of course, his move illicits a dressing down from his boss. Good work, Joanie. There's a reason you're our favorite.
What's coming: We have a feeling Moneypenny won't take this lying down. But he should. If he pushes her too hard, Joan will take that gold pen necklace of hers and stab him in the eye.