Wet-brained scientists have discovered that long-term alcoholics may misread the emotional cues that people project with their facial expressions. And how!

But this is scarier than you think, secretly-desperate-drunk-joke-maker, because it proves that alcoholics who don't even drink any more have already ruined their ability to tell whether that look on your face is one of muted appreciation or one of mocking me for something, you dirty lying whore. Abstinent alcoholics "register less intensity in the amygdala and hippocampus" when trying to read facial expressions than nonalcoholics do. Although scientists admit that they're not sure whether drinking makes you a flinty, suspicious bastard, or whether being a bastard drives you to drink!

Related: Old people are mad drunk.

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