Dr. Phil To Ride Amtrak Around For Some Reason, Next Month

We on the record as being tired of waiting for our own American Bullet Trains, but Amtrak is obviously trying to sabotage potential public support for high-speed rail transit, if this upcoming celebrity appearance is any indication.

America's Favorite non-practicing former psychiatrist and self-help Guru Dr. Phil "Dr. Phil" McGraw will ride the Acela from New York to Philly and back again on Wednesday, September 9. That is maybe two-and-a-half hours he will devote to solving the problems of pretend commuters, unless of course there are delays.

Much like Dr. Phil is a pretend doctor, the Acela (average DC-to-Penn Station speed: 80 mph) is a pretend high-speed train, though at least on the Acela you can BYOB. (Or purchase the fairly reasonably priced little tiny bottles of Jim Beam black.)