Philandering Evangelical Christian Senator: Boning My Friend's Wife Was Totally Legal

You just have to admire the set on John Ensign. The C Street Republican who had his parents to pay $96,000 in hush money to his mistress is now saying that his affair broke no laws, unlike Bill Clinton's.

Prior to giving a speech yesterday to the Chamber of Commerce in Fernley, Nevada, Ensign explained to a reporter how his affair with the wife of his friend/longtime staff member, who also happened to work for him, was so very different from Bill Clinton's affair with Monica Lewinsky.

I haven't done anything legally wrong...President Clinton stood right before the American people and he lied to the American people...You remember that famous day he lied to the American people, plus the fact I thought he committed perjury. That's why I voted for the articles of impeachment.

Now, technically Ensign has a point, but just because his affair broke no laws — that we're aware of at this point anyway — doesn't mean that his isn't the more repugnant of the two situations. After all, Bill Clinton wasn't living in a temple owned by a mafia-inspired Jesus cult when he was getting sucked off by Lewinski, was he? But then again, in Ensign's mind, him sticking his pee-pee inside of his staffer's vagina was entirely the will of Jesus Christ, and if Jesus wants you to fuck somebody, well, you kinda just have to.