The Forbes Powerful Women Randomly Ranked List

In its maniacal zeal to crank out endless lists of arbitrarily arranged names, Forbes has ranked the world's women by power. Did you know that Guler Sabanci, the chairman of Turkey's Sabanci Holdings, is more powerful than Oprah? It's true

Lists like these, which Forbes' crack researchers based on "visibility—by press mentions—and the size of the organization or country these women lead," are a priori useless linkbait. But this particular iteration, which separates the two female Supreme Court justices by six slots (why? Ruth Bader Ginsburg's longer tenure doesn't grant her more votes than Sonia Sotomayor), is particularly hilarious.

Here's how Michelle Obama, Oprah Winfrey, and the Queen of England stack up against Susan Chambers, the executive vice president in charge of Wal-Mart's "global people division":

The Forbes Powerful Women Randomly Ranked ListS

Also, Bill Gates' wife Melinda is more powerful than both Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.

If you're going to just make up a list like this based on nothing, shouldn't it at least make intuitive sense? Here's the thinking that went into it:

Forbes' Power Women list isn't about celebrity or popularity; it's about influence. Queen Rania of Jordan (No. 75), for instance, is perhaps the most listened-to woman in the Middle East; her Twitter feed has 600,000 followers.

Kim Kardashian has 1.9 million Twitter followers. WHY WAS SHE DENIED? Does Angela Merkel even use Twitter!?!?