Monkeys With 3 Parents Help Fuel Culture War

This little monkey, Spindler, has three parents. That's right! Three! How could this be? Because scientists are trying to play God and help eradicate potentially fatal diseases. Those bastards!

Researchers at the Oregon National Primate Research Center have developed a process in which the DNA from a mother with a disease — like the muscle disease myopathy — is placed within a donor egg. That egg is then fertilized with the father's sperm and presto! You have a baby who lacks the disease. It's all very scientific!

The studies' coordinators say that little Spindler, who has three equally adorable siblings, represents the next step in the fight against genetic defects. Foes, however, say otherwise, like Stephen Green, the director of Britain's Christian Voice. He thinks this study will only bring disaster and a bevy of awkward moments:

These things are always done with the best of intentions but we have to think whether this will lead to any unintended consequences. When the child finds out they have two mummies, how will they feel?

Um, probably pretty good knowing they didn't inherit some life-threatening or disfiguring disease. But what do they know? They're just children.

Yes, the new, improved children do inherit a teeny, tiny bit of DNA from the donor "mummy," but are essentially the offspring from the parents in question. So, Mr. Green, quit your griping and save your "two mummies" argument for the gays. At least then you'll have a case. (Well, not really, but we'll let him have his sick, exclusionary fun.)