Silvio's Job Is Safe As Long As Italy Remains A 1960s Playboy Club

Silvio Berlusconi slept with escorts, and his only excuse is that he didn't pay. His wife wants a divorce unless he seeks sex addiction treatment. How is he still Prime Minister? Because Italy is basically a chauvinist wonderland!

The entire Italian political system is a ridiculous farce. Berlusconi owns all the tv stations, he's faced a dozen legal battles on corruption and bribery, hardly any Italian corporations even pay taxes, members of the legislature have unlimited expense accounts and receive perks like free tennis lessons, and the country's economy is crumbling. And besides all that, Berlusconi has almost openly kept an 18-year-old mistress, photos have been published of half-naked parties at his villa, and there have literally been recordings released of his dalliance with an escort his corrupt businessman friend got him.

But, you know, that's all par for the course in Italy! The patriarchy is living large out there, according to Milan professor Chiara Volpato, in a Times op-ed.

Less than half of the women in Italy have jobs, but they have 80 minutes less "leisure time" every day, because they have to cook and clean for their Vespa-riding gadabout husbands and lazy, spoiled sons. And despite the fact that it's a Catholic country, the birthrate is incredibly low—we are guessing because young and smart Italian women are getting the hell out of Italy en masse. And the TV! Berlusconi knows what makes good TV: silent, scantily-clad ladies attending to the needs of old dudes.

And traditionally, women have supported Berlusoni, because, as we said, they don't get to have jobs, so they watch his TV networks all the time. But now that might change, because of the constant fucking around and being generally an astounding pig.

So rise up, women of Italy! You have nothing to lose but your greasy dirtbag men!