Yes, well, you will allow us just a bit of sentimentality in the headline, right? Don't worry: the rest of this week was your usual greed, crime, death, sex, and reality television.
- AMC got nervous about gayness on their television show Old-Timey Jerks Who Are Sexy.
- Vogue creative director Grace Coddington is the real star of that movie about Vogue, but it is Anna Wintour who gets to (has to?) go on the TV and pretend to be a human. She is almost as good at it as Meryl Streep is!
- Which of the various people taking all the mean, nasty fun out of the internet has the coolest office? And are any of them as cool as that that Chinese Ikea?
- Bernie Madoff got cancer! But then he got cured, maybe a couple days later. Who knows. If he doesn't have cancer then obviously Jewish Americans are not cursing him heartily enough, or with sufficiently comical Yiddish expressions.
- Oh man, Scientologists are fucking creepy and make us uncomfortable. Ugh.
- But, you know, most Scientologists are just victims. Victims like the lady who is suing Google because she got sued for calling someone a skank. But you know two people who are not victims? Those journalists who went and got themselves captured in North Korea! Why did they tell North Korea to arrest them? Why?
- God we totally wish we were homeless right now. We might get an internship!
- This guy named Tucker Max made a movie about fucking sluts. Hamilton didn't care for it!
- John McCain's heart doesn't seem to be in attacking Republican bogeymen anymore, but he's still at it.
- Also still at it: Mark Penn! He is using his horrible column in the Wall Street Journal to solicit clients for his horrible PR firm. But the Journal doesn't give a shit, because they are pathetic.
- We admitted how dumb we are, publicly.
- Dominick Dunne died.
- Print died, but some people were still suckling on its teat. It was gross.
- Oh look, a crazy creepy criminal had a blog and loved God.
- Top Chef and Project Runway shouldn't both begin their seasons at the same time. That is too many quirky and annoying personalities to sort through at once! But alas, there is nothing to be done. Top Chef kicked off an incompetent lady and Project Runway kicked off one of those terrible self-congratulatory artiste types.
- Soon your iPhone will augment reality, if "reality" for you is on a little screen in front of you.
- We're still waiting on that Grace Under Fire reunion. Why won't it happen already?
- Senator Ted Kennedy died. His life was a mess, but his positive influence on this nation is undeniable. It is a mixed-up legacy. And who will be the next important Kennedy? Who knows.