Carrie Prejean Suing Everyone

Noted wind victim Carrie "Miss Opposite Marriage" Prejean is suing three Miss California USA officials for firing her because of her religions beliefs, even though that is not actually why they fired her.

Everyone wanted to strip Prejean of her crown because of her inarticulate embrace of bigotry, but that didn't happen. Donald Tump didn't allow it. But when she became a right-wing martyr and started making her own media appearances while ignoring Miss California-related contractual obligations, they decided she was not working out so well, as Miss California. On the whole, that was a boon for Prejean, because it was harder to sell the "martyr" thing when the only bad thing that had actually happened to her was getting talked to by Perez Hilton.

So now that she is a famous professional conservative family values advocate who posed for racy photos before having a beauty pageant pay for her breast implants it is time to sue the terrible people who thrust her into the public eye in order for her to make her fortune. Specifically, Miss California USA officials Keith Lewis and Shanna Moakler, and publicist Roger Neal.

The complaint cites damages to Miss Prejean including libel, public disclosure of private facts, religious discrimination, intentional infliction of emotional distress, and negligent infliction of emotional distress.

Oh no, not negligent infliction of emotional distress! That's the worst kind of infliction of emotional distress!

This seems like a nice time to remind everyone that getting made fun of for stupid shit you say is not actually an example of religious discrimination. Oh, also we should probably remind everyone of these hilarious emails full of all the bias and stuff.