Today we innocently repeated a Page Six blind item about a married former newspaperman carrying on an affair with a single reporter. We don't have names. But we do have some of the newspaperman's text messages to his ladyfriend!
This reporter left a newspaper to go work for the internet, like so many have before him. Also he is married to another reporter, who is at a newspaper still. And he is having this affair with a reporter who used to work with him at the newspaper and who now works under him at the web thing. So, you know, there are still ways of advancing, in media! (We hear!)
Well someone or other emailed evidence of hotel dalliances between husband and mistress to wife, and to web thing owners, which is just ungentlemanly, if you ask us.
And then someone sent us husband and mistress text messages! "Received" is from husband, "Sent" from mistress. There is some sort of (gross sex??) thing involving the exchange of "gum," there are bits about one's "Mom" "coming," there is just lots and lots of that hilariously bad sexy talk that couples do when they begin having sexy sex with each other, all the time. And "beef sliders."
Received May 14, 2009 7:46:21 PM
Bolting. I can't pretend that I care about these people anymore. I can offer you good whiskey somewhere if you're finishing up soon. Otherwise another night.
Sent May 14, 2009 7:51:39 PM
I'd love nothing more than good whiskey. Believe me. [Redacted] is still shoveling pad Thai into his maw. Not sure I can make a smooth exit. Another night - another dress?
Received May 14, 2009 8:04:56 PM
[Redacted] inhaling Pad Prik Khing. Very appealing. Another night. Dress optional.
Sent May 14, 2009 9:51:19 PM
Funny. Just got back from Thai. Still find that beef slider far more appealing. Just saying.
Received May 15, 2009 4:59:19 PM
Thanks Gum fairy. This may be the first time I was here when the gum was delivered.
Sent May 15, 2009 5:07:52 PM
True. It kind of ruined the element of surprise. Today may have been a three-piece day buy I rationed incorrectly. You know - the whole chick, math thing.
Received May 15, 2009 5:09:59 PM
Definitely a 3 piece day. You'll have to make it up to me another day.
Sent May 15, 2009 5:52:38 PM
Fair enough. Just remember that you're striving for four pieces.
Received May 16, 2009 8:42:47 AM
[Redacted] out due to family emergency. I'm heading to 30 Rock to hold the fort with one good hand. Woot. Guh. Woot. So conflicted.
Sent May 16, 2009 11:09:58 AM
Let me know if you want a drop from the Dunks fairy - gum fairy's irreverent, caffeine-addled cousin.
Received May 16, 2009 11:21:28 AM
Tempting. Caffeine and you But don't know how we explain your generosity to the intern and [Redacted]. Still tempting.
Sent May 16, 2009 11:51:36 AM
Forgot about those guys. I say send [Redacted] home and tell the intern to take a hike. I got lots of deliverables. Just sayin.
Received May 16, 2009 12:02:41 PM
I'd definitely be happier than I am right now. And so would you.
Sent May 16, 2009 12:34:30 PM
You're probably right. And dont forget you still have those three requests. Generosity goes a long way.
Received May 16, 2009 12:41:10 PM
If only you were covering the midday portion of today's shift. Could have gotten a lot done together.
Sent May 16, 2009 1:01:50 PM
Agreed. Could have generated lots of good content in the casual corner.
Sent May 16, 2009 2:10:18 PM
Buy maybe it's better this way. Those purple buttons on your snap shirt may have met an untimely demise.
Received May 16, 2009 2:20:11 PM
Snaps are purple today. And still mostly snapped. Alone in casual corner. [Redacted] gone. RE here. Where r u?
Sent May 16, 2009 2:30:01 PM
Haven't left the EV. Still in the zip, so to speak. Casual corner can be a lonely place. You there for a while?
Received May 16, 2009 2:31:30 PM
Leaving soon. You'll have to check out the snaps another day.
Sent May 16, 2009 2:38:59 PM
That's a shame. Guess the snaps resiliency test will also be put on hold.
Received May 19, 2009 4:13:25 PM
Three pieces. Woot
Sent May 19, 2009 4:53:32 PM
Three pieces well deserved. One of your better beef slider Tuesday showings.
Sent May 21, 2009 8:48:02 PM
In the time it takes to cab it to Jersey you couldve make dozens of trips up and downtown. Depending on traffic, leg room. Just sayin.
Sent May 22, 2009 4:30:30 PM
Wet jeans before 8 am. You may have deserved four pieces today.
Received May 22, 2009 4:42:16 PM
I was hoping for 4. The packaging added to the thrill. When I slowly pulled it out, I thought just maybe. Still it's important to keep standards high. I respect that.
Received May 22, 2009 10:23:46 PM
Your mom is very excited, I'm sure, to see you. Just saying.
Sent May 22, 2009 10:39:21 PM
My mom said she isn't coming until tomorrow but she's really excited already. Feel so bad she'll be disappointed.
Received May 22, 2009 11:16:33 PM
Can't blame her for being excited already. Dont feel so bad I'm sure she'll come soon.
Sent May 24, 2009 8:11:48 AM
My mom came. She had such a great time she said she wants to come again and again. The sites, the sounds, the seaman - it was all very stimulating.
Received May 24, 2009 8:58:48 AM
If you're patient you could find the same joy. You may not even have to go anywhere. Someone may come your way.
Sent May 24, 2009 10:00:40 AM
It's hard to be patient when you want someone to come your way. But it's not a tough concept to swallow.
Received May 24, 2009 12:22:59 PM
It is hard. Very hard.
Sent May 24, 2009 12:43:09 PM
The harder the better. It's far more exciting that way.
Sent May 24, 2009 12:54:28 PM
A hard rain.
Received May 24, 2009 1:03:21 PM
Starts slow, gets harder and harder and then you don't want it to end.
Sent May 24, 2009 1:08:37 PM
I'm sure you're right. But that won't stop me from begging you to come.
Received May 24, 2009 1:32:47 PM
Truth seekers. We'll find out at some point.
Sent May 24, 2009 2:25:06 PM
You forgot rigorous. Rigorous seekers of hard news.
Received May 24, 2009 2:43:24 PM
And dedicated to perfection. Even if it means doing it again and again and again.
Sent May 24, 2009 2:54:47 PM
Practice does make perfect. And it just happens I'm a firm believer in sweat equity.
Received May 24, 2009 4:01:44 PM
I believe that you're committed to perfection otherwise I wouldn't take up your time and tie you up so long.
Sent May 24, 2009 4:21:24 PM
Taking such a hard line on perfection means I'm bound to take my time, tie you up too one of these days. It's only fair. I hope you'd get behind it.
Received May 24, 2009 4:35:11 PM
Only fair. You can count on me to get behind it one of these days. I won't even make you beg much.
Sent May 24, 2009 4:48:29 PM
Don't mind taking orders - def like to give them. But I'm pretty flexible. Can bend whatever way you need me too.
Received May 24, 2009 5:22:24 PM
Oh so that's changed since your gym evaluation. I trust you. But it's probably best if Im the one who evaluates your flexibility. We'll go over it together. Just say when. Just shout.
Sent May 24, 2009 6:18:34 PM
I've improved greatly. I think you'd give me decent marks - especially if I leave it in your hands . And don't worry - I'm very vocal.
Received May 26, 2009 4:43:00 PM
Just 2 pieces today. I'm beginning to think there's no methodology, no logic behind the gum fairy. Can she be pleased?
Sent May 26, 2009 4:48:48 PM
Never satisfied. At least not yet. There's a method to the madness. Gum fairy has her ways.
Received May 26, 2009 4:58:15 PM
Not convinced. In fact, I'd love to get my hands on the gum fairy.
Sent May 26, 2009 5:11:35 PM
I think you'll find the gum fairy very agreeable.
Received May 28, 2009 5:58:40 PM
So what's your request? And how long will I need to fulfill it?
Sent May 28, 2009 6:51:14 PM
It's a request worthy of four pieces upon completion. Requires a bit of planning. Length of fulfillment tbd.
Received May 28, 2009 7:28:55 PM
Tempting. Share more details when youre willing We can work on the planning while I'm away.
Sent May 28, 2009 8:38:02 PM
Will do. Something to look forward to, one might say. No need to be held to such rigid restrictions as the passenger bill of rights.
Sent May 29, 2009 10:31:13 AM
It's a beautiful day for traffic court.
Received May 29, 2009 11:51:25 AM
Traffic court equals pain. Just got out. Not guilty. Suck it. Took longer than I hoped. So i won't be able to meet up. The thought of meeting up really helped me pass the time as I waited for the judge to call my name. Just saying.
Sent May 29, 2009 12:22:39 PM
I'm glad to hear the long arm of the law took pity on a one-handed crip. Win. Willing to be a captive audience if you ever feel the need to share aforementioned thoughts. Just saying.
Received May 29, 2009 12:44:50 PM
I believe in showing not telling. Even if I have to do it repeatedly. Point is to do it well.
Sent May 29, 2009 1:33:52 PM
Showing is always preferable to telling. Helps to really drive it home. Especially when done over and over and over again.
Received May 29, 2009 2:11:43 PM
People learn differently. I'm not against coming at it at different angles before deciding what works best.
Sent May 29, 2009 2:50:14 PM
I'm a fast learner. But I'll position myself in any way you see fit to doggedly pursue these endeavors.
Received May 29, 2009 2:59:49 PM
About to climb into the back of a cab. Long ride to the airport. Usually I like long rides.
Sent May 29, 2009 3:28:49 PM
Wouldnt worry about the cab. Soon enough a certain landing strip will be in your future.
Received May 31, 2009 12:06:25 AM
You know you're a crip when you can hold chopsticks with your gimp hand but can't bend your elbow to lift the sushi to your mouth. Guh.
Sent May 31, 2009 12:58:46 AM
As a crip it's important to learn your limitations. Tough racket, indeed. Ah, if only every day could be slider Tuesday. Or at the very least sloppy joe Friday.
Received May 31, 2009 1:00:19 AM
Shouldn't you be sleeping? And you're the one who loves beef sliders.
Sent May 31, 2009 1:05:59 AM
Can't argue with either point. Especially the latter.
We wish these crazy kids the best! Even though obviously there are a lot of people who know them who just really don't like them!