Why Sarah Palin Needs Levi JohnstonS

The PR push for Johnston's article in Vanity Fair started yesterday and people are already hating America's babydaddy and rooting for Sarah Palin. But her reality-television-turned-politics spectacle was getting stale and nothing reinvigorates an aging soap like a good rivalry.

In today's NY Times Gail Collins writes she feels sympathy for Palin because of Levi's story, where he calls Palin a bad mother who was never around and claims that she tried to adopt his and Bristol's child to pass it off as her own.

But even if he were an Eagle Scout with a scholarship to Harvard, can you imagine anything worse than discovering your daughter's teenage ex-boyfriend has been given a national platform to discuss his impressions of her mom's parenting skills?

Yes, we can. How about being an 18-year-old boy who is trotted out by a conservative succubus and an unqualified, ambitious woman in some lame attempt to appease voters who believe that abstinence exists and that abortion and adoption are bad? Yes, Levi is shamelessly cashing in on his brief moment in the sun, but if it weren't for the GOP and their collective delusion about the realities of teenage life, he never would have had a platform to begin with.

And really, how harmful is Levi? He's only riding Sarah Palin's coattails — VF gave her top billing — thus keeping her in the spotlight. Besides, what is this distracting America from? Palin's in-depth explorations of American foreign policy with Russia. Yeah, he's a not-very-bright, opportunistic burgeoning gay icon who is making the most of his very limited shelf life. He's Kato Kaelin with a hunting license, and he seems to know it. Seriously, when is a dim bulb from Wasilla ever going to get a chance to burn so bright again?

And a fun flame-out it has been. Aside from being courted by Graydon Carter with trips to the Monkey Bar and an appearance as Kathy Griffin's date to the Teen Choice Awards, there was also a bidding war by gay porn companies to get the kid to show off his magical impregnating device. His next step is an underwear shoot for Playgirl! Does it get any more wonderfully ridiculous?

If anything, Sarah Palin and the Republican ideologues are being outsmarted by their pawn. They dragged this kid away from hockey practice to try to save their asses and now he's using the same public-profile-as-theater-of-the-absurd tactics to stay in the spotlight. Besides, Sarah Palin needs a way to stay in the headlines somehow. And for that, Levi Johnston, we salute you.