Happy Labor Day. Let's all get drunk and then seize the means of production on Monday. Sound good? Man, we had so many questions this week.

• Who fathered Blanket? The world may never stop caring!
• Do you watch The Mad Men, on "American Movie Classics"? If so than you will enjoy this.
• Did you watch "The Election," on the Fox channel? If so, then Vanity Fair has a great article by a budding young journalist that you will enjoy!
• Do you write erotica? And are you a lady? You should probably not also be a South Carolina Republican.
• Are you a celebrity? Why not Twitter about that?
• Are you a lesbian? Go be on a reality show!
• Bad people. We like them on the TV but in real life they are not as lovable.
• Man, look at that stupid fatty. She should lose some weight, stupid fatty. But not too much weight because that would be gross too.
• God, on the "mildly time-intensive money-making scams you wish you thought of" scale teaching a college course on Twitter ranks up there with "getting elected governor of Illinois" and "being Malcolm Gladwell."
• Oh, hey, look at the professional behavior of those contractors in Afghanistan.
• The integrity of the Miss Universe judging process has come under suspicion.
• Diane Sawyer has booked a gig on the Dying Old Audience Express.
• Hey, more Levi news: he is going to take his clothes off for a website that used to be a magazine.
• No one likes Michael Cera anymore, he's too popular. But there is really not a great successor in the wings. Has anyone seen Pete and Pete's little Pete lately? He's still just hanging out in Williamsburg, right?
• Anna Wintour got burrrrrned in a lawsuit by Wolfgan Puck's wife!
• "The gum fairy" visited a New York-area married journalist and one of his lady reporters. Also they texted each other over and over again about how they were fucking, all the time. Young love! For old, married dudes!
• Speaking of young love for old, married dueds: Ashley Dupre is back! And she says you are all whores. And now all the ladies hate her.
• Tim Gunn wore flipfloips. On the beach! That is where they are appropriate, we guess. Who knows, LA sucks.
• More Levi: he is very useful for Sarah Palin's brand.
• If you want TV bookers to suck up to you, try being a publicly arrested elected official.
• Chairman MAOBAMA will force your children to listen to communist lies about staying in school.
• Dov Charney is sorry, illegals, but he has to let you go.
• Hey, crowd-sourced Samizdat. Let's make it happen.

Send an email to Alex Pareene, the author of this post, at alexp@gawker.com.