Are you one of the millions of men who have been suckered into purchasing "body wash" with the tacit assurance that said product will get you mad ladies and does not make you totally gay? You've been had.

It was all a trick, by marketing people, to get you to buy body wash! The NYT digs deep into the dirty scam—it turns out that instead of being an honest appraisal of body wash's ability to engorge the loins of females, all those sexxxy Axe ads may have been tainted by hyperbole. Furthermore, girls were using body wash before boys, and now boys are using it which makes them totally gay, differently-designed packaging be damned! Like Big Tobacco, Big Body Wash gets you while you're young:

For men using body wash "to go mainstream like this it really has to be taught when boys are pubescent," she said. "One thing you can be sure of with pubescent boys, because of their hormones, is that they stink."

Just because we're stank and dumb is no reason to take advantage of us.