On the night of Barack Obama's election, a group of young idiots in "a makeshift clubhouse" in Staten Island decided to go out and beat up some black people. They tried hard. But they made the following mistakes:

Strike One: First, they jumped a Liberian immigrant and beat him with a metal pipe. He did not get the chance to educate them on the distinction between "African" and "African-American."

Strike Two: They "demanded that a Hispanic man tell them how he had voted."

Strike Three: They got in the car and ran down Ronald Forte—a white guy wearing a hoodie. They thought he looked black.

Now all four of them have been sentenced to prison terms ranging from five to nine years.

Race-blind racists. MLK's dream is here.

Send an email to Hamilton Nolan, the author of this post, at Hamilton@gawker.com.