The good news: one shot of tasty swine flu vaccine is all it will take to save you from the dreaded pig virus this year! The bad news: All the medicine is going to special interests.

That means it should be possible to vaccinate - well before the flu's expected midwinter peak - all the 159 million people that the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimate are in the high-risk groups: pregnant women, people under 24 years old or caring for infants, people with high-risk medical conditions and health-care workers.

Whoa whoa whoa—I could have sworn that there are 300 million people in the USA. The socialist government is once again telling the Middle-Aged White Man to suck it! Fend for yourselves! Give the life-saving medicine to welfare people! NObama's not a pregnant woman but how much do you want to bet he gets some vaccine, hmm?

Even hogs are treated better than the Grown White Man these days. Outrageous.
[Pic: AP]

Send an email to Hamilton Nolan, the author of this post, at Hamilton@gawker.com.