The week started with the best holiday of all (sorry, Halloween) and ended with the worst (sorry, Arbor Day). But there were many things in the middle!

• We tried to predict Obama's week. We knew he'd deal with dissatisfied liberals and increasingly crazy conservatives, but who could've predicted Charlie Sheen and Joe Wilson! The former wanted to talk to the President about how 9/11 was an inside job, and the latter did talk to him right in the middle of his health care speech.
• Others, this week, wanted to talk to someone really important: the Harvard Dean of Admissions!
• Everyone told stories about the late Walter Cronkite.
• We tried to save Annie Leibovitz's finances.
• A New York Times reporter was rescued in Afghanistan, and we wondered why so many of them need rescuing.
• Let's buy Bernie Madoff's penthouse! But don't ask him for charitable donations—he's really tired of that shit.
• Melrose Place is back! So is Glee! One of the NYC Preps will not be back at prep school, though.
• Dressing like an asshole: always in fashion.
• Steve Jobs: still alive.
• Anna Wintour wrote stories about all the wonderful clubs she went to, in high school, along with the ones you might be able to get into. We remain obsessed with her origin story.
• Lovable Lesbian Comedian Ellen "Ellen" Degeneres will be our new American Idol judge, because she is nice.
• You can't work at Teen Vogue if you haven't seen Twilight. Just fyi. If you feel bad about that, feel free to leave Lindsay Lohan a voicemail.
• Fashion week! Models! More Anna Wintour! 9/11!
• Top Chef and Project Runway just continued on their merry way as if nothing was even happening.
• Yeah, and don't send us your fucking blog posts, either! Unless they're really funny and we need some material because it's a Friday afternoon or something.

Send an email to Alex Pareene, the author of this post, at alexp@gawker.com.