Will The Lady Gaga Penis Conspiracy Get The Full Reveal Tonight?

Okay, it's silly. Lady Gaga probably doesn't have a penis. But maybe she does. And now, there are rumblings that Lady Gaga has something incredible in store for tonight's VMAs. Let's go over this one more time. Update! Well...

I once wrote that The Lady Gaga Penis Conspiracy is the birther movement of pop culture, but far more entertaining. I was wrong. The Lady Gaga Penis Conspiracy is the one-armed man of pop culture, and tonight's VMAs could be its grassy knoll. This is exciting, if only because there's a substantial pop culture rumor out there that a chart-topping pop star has a cock. As recently as last week, Lady Gaga quoted her vagina as "offended" by these accusations. Her vagina would say that, though. This is part of the (literal) cover-up. Pay attention. Read between the creases in the fabric.