The Sad, Sober Life of Mischa Barton

Mischa Barton can't do drugs. Neither can people at Soho House. Meanwhile, gays want babies. Insane! Welcome to your Monday morning Gossip Roundup.

  • Oh no! Mischa Barton's handlers won't let her get wasted after her hospitalization this summer. Poor thing can only smoke cigarettes. [Page Six]

  • Elton John's turning into Madonna! The singer has his heart set on adopting a little Ukrainian AIDS orphan. [Daily Mail]

  • Speaking of the gays: Neil Patrick Harris says he and his boyfriend have discussed raising children. Baby Doogie, we love you already. [NYDN]

  • Iran couldn't fight public outcry and has given the green-light to television drama Lost. [Guardian]

  • Philippe van den Bossche, who headed Raising Malawi and helped Madge adopt her two black babies, has resigned to live with his girlfriend, trainer Tracy Anderson. [Page Six]

  • Lily Allen has given up on music and wants to become an actress. Good luck, you silly young thing. [3am]

  • Soho House has enacted a strict bathroom policy to deter coke heads and public sex aficionados from getting their kicks in the john. [Page Six]

  • "Real Housewife" Sheree Whitfield brought her "fashions" to New York for fashion week. And, really, that's all we can say on the matter, because she sucks. [Gatecrasher]

  • We're not sure why, but Robbie Williams wants to be on I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here! Sad. [The Sun]