Internet mogul Arianna Huffington thinks female sadness is a growing problem, so she's brought on a blogger to teach women how to "live richer, more purposeful, and, yes, happier lives." And he's a man, so he really knows his stuff.
In a bizarre "blog" clearly written by one of her interns, Huffington has announced a new series of "blogs" by Marcus Buckingham, a poor-man's Tony Robbins who wrote a book called Find Your Strongest Life (and then what—end all your other, weaker lives?), aimed at combating the epidemic of ladysadness. Not clinical depression, not suicide, not deteriorating quality-of-life measures—just sadness:
According to study after study, women are becoming more and more unhappy. This drop in happiness is found in women across the social and economic landscape. It doesn't matter what their marital status is, how much money they make, whether or not they have children, their ethnic background, or the country they live in. Women around the world are in a funk.
Anyway, be-funked women of the world, don't fear. Marcus Buckingham, a man, knows what's wrong with you and how to fix it.
If you'd rather get your life-happiness advice from a woman, though, we've distilled some important steps to happiness by closely observing how Huffington herself achieved her beatific perch:
1) Marry a gay oil millionaire.
2) Join a cult.
3) Hang out with Newt Gingrich and write for the National Review.
4) Suck up to celebrities by telling them you are interested in their "ideas."
5) Ditch the gay dude and Gingrich, engage in a public and inexplicable ideological reversal, and start a web site where people write for free.
6) Have interns do everything for you, including write vague "blogs" about the latest shiftless guru you've met at party somewhere who will be writing for free on said blog.